Special thanks to my friend Lenore for sharing this:
A recent study indicated yarn and thread give off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts.
When stored in large quantities, in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the yarn) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter; i.e. the storing of food) Therefore, perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others. (???? I have no idea what the last sentence means…anyone???)
Sound tests have also revealed that these yarns emit a very high- pitched sound heard only by a select few: a breed of women known as “loomers.” When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants: buy me, loom me, and wind me into a ball.
In order to overcome the so called “feeding frenzy effect” these yarns cause, one
must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being
pulled into their grip. (One must laugh; however, at the sight of customers in a yarn store, with WW2 army gas masks and headphones!).
Studies have also indicated aliens have inhabited the earth helping to spread the effects these yarns have on the human population. They are called “YARN STORE CLERKS”.
It’s also been experienced these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide yarn purchases, when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash.) When asked by a significant other if the yarn is new, the reply is:
“I’ve had it for awhile.”
